3 More Clamshells
July 22nd - July 27th
Every night I’m free, I put up a poll over on my Instagram and ask my followers which of the three VHS tapes I should watch. At the end of the year, all movies will be ranked. Here’s this week’s Rental Shelf Round-Up.
Along with the titles featured in this week’s round-up, I also viewed the following movies: The Big Lebowski (1998), Videoheaven (2025). If you’d like a review of any of these, make sure to leave me a comment!
July 25th - Tightrope (1984)
The reviews claiming that this is his “horniest” of Clint’s movies might be right, but his virility is not the most interesting part of this story. Sure, it’s funny when he’s being forward to Genevieve Bujold while they slurp oysters, but there are incredibly tender moments. Like Heartbreak Ridge, there’s the idea that no cop, no soldier, can be loved by a woman. Clint’s character is both that of the horny cop with a hard on for justice, but there’s also that of the father who rescues a stray pup. I could elaborate more, and maybe I will, but that’s for another time. The beginning of the movie almost lost me with the score, but the script was so tight that it drew me back in.
July 26th - Soldier’s Revenge (1986)
The description of this movie is a little misleading. He doesn’t go to a war-torn country to save the woman he loves. Rather, he’s a soldier that’s rolled back into town after the death of his mother. He’s run out of said town because they think he’s a traitor to his country, and when he is run out he escapes on a plane full of weapons at the bequest to her war torn country to save her father, who is being held hostage. The movie itself is boring (the whole first half is a snooze fest), but once we get into the stunt work it picks up. The plane work itself was pretty great.
July 27th - Black Widow (1987)
I have a similar problem with this as I do with Final Analysis. Because we know that Theresa Russell is actually a black widow from the first scene (and also from the tagline), there’s very little mystery going on in this and it turns into pure procedural. The problem with that: the procedural makes no sense. The guy the two girls are fighting over in the end has absolute zero substance and likability (I wish they had been fighting over the museum guy instead). I wish it had been gayer.
Gala’s Final Thoughts
I didn’t expect to watch this many tapes this week (I thought I had time for maybe one), but I’m glad I rounded it out with three! I’m almost done with the stack of clamshells, it should be another week or two before I can finally get back into the slip covers and actually picking what three movies come up to vote.
A full review of The Big Lebowski is coming Friday, and if you want to hear a conversation between me and the director (Alex Ross Perry) and editor (Clyde Folley) about Videoheaven, click here.
Want longer reviews of any of the titles mentioned above? Make sure to leave a comment and let me know! Until next time…
xoxo gala